Random Musings

The Fine Art of Parking

It might seem trite, simplistic or the over-earnest attempt to be whimsical on this website nonetheless parking is an art. Any car lover will tell you that there are unequal parts of science, mythology, coincidence, and experience melded together into an illogical, yet slightly useful playbook when it comes to parking a car. Why is it important? Selecting the wrong parking spot can leave your car with door dings, scratches, bird pooh, sap stains, and at the very least a damaged clear coat. So if you have ever returned to your car only to have it damaged, below is a guide to car parking (sounds a little dirty doesn’t it), based on observations, experience, and ‘cars n coffee’ discussions. It is not definitive, but ever-evolving.

There are three elements to parking a car; 

1. Navigating the car park

2. Selecting the car park,

3. Parking the car. 

One and three are essentially driving skills, and as this is a site for car devotees, I’ll assume more than a cursory skill level and will focus on selecting the space to leave your pride and joy.

1. To tree or not to tree that is the question. Firstly, sorry for using a cliché and pun in one phrase, appalling writing really. Sap can damage the clear coat and even worse the paint underneath. However, I believe if it is hot and you have leather (seats, steering wheel) or an older classic with a delicate composite vinyl dash it is always best to protect these, especially if you live where the summers can be brutal. One can always clean the car carefully with the right products to remove any materials deposited from the tree.

2. Always take the park next to a pole or wall. Why? it eliminates one side of the car from door dents. If there is another car on the other side of the pole it generally results in a slightly larger parking space overall.

3. Avoid parking next to an SUV these are invariably family cars. Having witnessed my children get out of our CX-5, caution and subtly are not typical traits of eager children. If you must take the spot check for child car seats. Rear-facing seats mean an infant that won’t be opening the door, however, it means mum or dad will be struggling for space to negotiate removal or return of the child to the seat, and thus an errant knock to your car is likely.

4. Don’t Park next to a beat-up car, do park next to a prestige car. If you have the nerve, the owner will care as much about their car as yours.

5. Avoid parking across a driveway when parking on the side of the road. I’ve hit the same car twice trying to back out of my parent's driveway. Enough said, decrease the variables that can contribute to an error occurring.

6. Don’t Park next to poorly parked cars. If they couldn’t get in cleanly, just imagine the exit!

7. Caution with curbs. Pretty self-explanatory, despite the best intention it is likely we have all suffered from a bout of curb rash. In and around Melbourne, one must remain particularly aware of bluestone-lined curbs, these are never uniform and have jagged edges.